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Mariko Clark

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Anne Lamott

April 24, 2014 Mariko
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watch our shenanigans on instagram! @marikoclark

I can’t wait until spring comes so I can lock you two out on the porch! Just kidding! Maybe! #cabinfever #getawayfromme
I'm eavesdropping on Drew reading a story about a girl going to a ball and he’s changing the words so that the girls "get fancy" instead of "get pretty". And when she leaves her fancy slipper behind the prince remembers how kind and smart and FAST she was 😂
We do this constantly. Raising our girls feels like this process of incessant re-messaging. .
Girls don't need to GET pretty. They ARE pretty. This goes for all girls. .
AND THEY'RE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
.
The dresses, the nail polish, the tutus and tiaras -- all of that stuff that they (despite my efforts to stay neutral!) seem inevitably drawn to...it's wonderful. But I so desperately want them to know that it's extra. It's just...fancy. .
The world is going to make a fortune off of telling our girls that they are inadequate in some way. It is the oldest marketing strategy in the book: create a problem and then sell the solution. Smoother hair, longer lashes, flatter tummies, whiter teeth...it never ends. So as much as I can, I try to hammer home this point: GOD MADE YOU AWESOME - complete and capable and unique and purposed right out of my own womb. Do you know that? Good, then carry on with all of that other fun stuff. Dress-up however you want as long as you know that it's just extra. .
I could go on about the other messages we redirect: the princes we leave out of the stories because the princesses are perfectly capable of solving their own problems. (We have a Disney storybook where Prince Eric helps Ariel communicate with a dolphin. The ultimate mansplain. DUDE, SHE’S A MERMAID.) So we just cut him out. Or maybe they work together- whatever.
It feels like we need to be constantly vigilant. We have a story Bible that talks about how "Mrs. Noah was very busy cleaning up after all of the animals on the ark." Drew took a sharpie to Mrs. and sketched a broom in Noah's hand too. KEEP UP, NOAH. .
I know maybe this seems like paranoia or overkill, but I'd rather fall forward than back. I'd rather raise overly-confident, annoyingly-independent feminists than have them ever wonder where their value lies. So read on, Drew. I’m so glad you’re my partner 😍😍😍
I recently read a description of Enneagram Fours that said we are the person you call when you need to get your dog put down. And at first I was annoyed. ARE WE TRULY THAT DISMAL? But I read on, learning that it has to do with empathy. Fours aren’t uncomfortable with your dark feelings because we so fully engage with our own. We won’t try to cheer you up or ignore your pain. We will just sit and hold your hand in the dark. 
And now I love this metaphor. Now it’s what I think of as I consider my “story brand” — the WHY of what I do. My marketing friends want to know who my audience is and how I want to relate to them. This is what I tell them:

I want to be with the messy people. I want to meet them right there in the mess and sit down and have a chat. 
I think “my audience”- my people -identify as spiritually messy. 
Maybe you don't have a faith background. Maybe it's a long story. Maybe - like me- you grew up in the church, know all of the Bible verses and served faithfully for a long time. And then you hit a crisis that burned and busted up your worldview and now you're not sure what to think. 
I get that. 
It's been two years since my deepest darkness and I'm still reconstructing my faith. 
I want to be there when you're sitting in your mess, with your childhood understanding of God in pieces all around you. 
And I want to say THIS SUCKS. But you don't have to leave. Don't leave. Life is messy and we need you here. 
Let's ignore the people who would have us believe that messy people have no place in God's family. That you need to be a project or a praise report but that there's no middle ground. That you need to get your act together or leave. 
Don't leave. Be the dark, confused, angry, doubting, scoffing, sad, bored, MESSY person in the room. You can sit with me. 
I know it's difficult. But I believe that ease is for the shallow and you have it in you to be deep. 
I believe - I've experienced - that when we throw up our hands and say "I don't know who God is anymore", that's when we're on to something Real. That's when Spirit says EXACTLY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. LET ME SHOW YOU. (Continued in comments)
WE BACK. .
My month-long social media hiatus flew by. I organized my brain and my heart and my closets. I have so much more space and access to my best stuff now. .
As for Aidah and Noah...they had their 4 and 1 year checkups this month:
.
.
. 
Doctor: Aidah, what’s your little sister’s name? 
Aidah: well, I call her Chunky Little Stinker or Beast but her real name is Noah Zamar Clark Straton.
Doctor:(gives me a strong side eye while writing on her chart. I like to think it was something like “advanced sense of humor and verbal skills” and definitely nothing about degrading nicknames and Noah’s future self-esteem)
Doctor: what about screen time? Do you watch a lot of tv or do you like to go outside and play? 
Aidah: oh mom lets me watch tons of shows while she sleeps on the couch in the morning times! 
Me: 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️
Doctor: and what kinds of foods do you love to eat? 
Aidah: CHOCOLATE CHIP DUNKERS AND BACON! 
Me: (weakly) but tell her about how you love broccoli...
Aidah: oh yea! I love broccoli! I pretend to be a dinosaur when I eat it and when I drop some on the ground, Noey gets to crawl over and eat the scraps. .
.
.#nailedit #momoftheyear
These girls are going off the grid in 2019 ✌️
.
I’m taking a social media break for the month of January (um, well, starting now). I’m going to do some reflecting and set some goals and reevaluate what I’m doing and why! I’ve been studying the ancient Hebrew concept of shalom (wholeness! harmony! peace! wellness!) and looking to establish rhythms and disciplines within my days that lead to MORE shalom. I’m learning that my role as life-giver in this home doesn’t simply apply to birth - there is a unique responsibility on me to foster growth and abundance and I want to learn to do that in more of a proactive way...as opposed to the slapdash, REactive way I’ve been getting by with thus far. .
BUT LET’S BE REAL - according to a recent poll (conducted by me...here on Instagram...) 72% of you aren’t here for my reflections on shalom. You’re here to watch Aidah live her fancy, hilarious life. Stings a bit, but I’ve accepted it. 😆 To those of you who look forward to laughing at my children on your potty break...welp, I’m sorry. Until Noah can learn to hold the camera steady to capture all of Aidahs performances, these girls still need me to get on the World Wide Web. .
So, Happy New Year! One of the great joys of my 2018 was connecting with some of you and having important conversations about God and babies and business and booze...more of all of that in the year to come! Xoxo
Our little Aidah Hope is four years old today. Four years of the fanciest, sing-songiest, chattiest little dimple queen in all the land. What a gift and an adventure to be her mom. The name Aidah means “to adorn oneself” and when we named her, I prayed she would be someone who wakes up and adorns herself in hope. She does this and then shines it on out to everyone around her with her sunshine, sass and curiosity. Oh I just love her to pieces. ❤️
Happy Birthday to Drew, whose singular flaw (besides rasping his dry feet together as he falls asleep at night) is that he never checks social media. So this is just my annual PSA that love wins and Drew Straton is the greatest and most golden person. Funny and brilliant and talented and endlessly, absurdly kind. He is currently engrossed in a dream day full of POOL AND DARTS AND PICKLEBALL AND SPIKEBALL AND RAQUETBALL AND CARDS AND ALL THE GAMES HE CREATES WITHIN THOSE GAMES but if you have birthday wishes for him, I will pass them on due to his aforementioned flaw. .
Happy birthday to my love. Thank you for being exactly, wonderfully, weirdly you. After all these years I still love and like you the most. I hope you win all the games forever and honestly your feet serve us all so well so...rasp on. 
#drewdrewdrewdrewdrewdrewdrew
Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmastime.
-
Laura Ingalls Wilder
.
Well into adulthood and it still doesn’t really feel like Christmas to me until I’m holding a candle and singing Silent Night. Tonight I looked down the row...at my proud almost-four-year old Aidah holding her own candle...my little brother - the one and only Uncle Rara...my one true love Drew... and even my hangry newly-one-year old Noey tomahawking her glowstick at the skull of the woman in front of me...oh I’m just so thankful. There is light and there is dark but oh there is hope. Merry Christmas everyone ❤️
Aidah, test-driving a new smile for the holidays ❤️
A year ago today, sweet Noah Zamar was born. It’s been all treats and farts and snoozing ever since. Oh Noey. What a delight. She’s in her happy place when she’s scooting around all nudie and grubby, clutching a soggy snack in one chubby fist. I had trouble hunting down many photos of her without Aidah because they are basically inseparable...and for that I think I am the most thankful❤️
(PS remember when I was pregnant and Aidah used to -inexplicably- call her Baby Woof Woof?)

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